Eternal Twilight: The First year
by Arrem330
Summary: Edward cullen and Bella swan are experiancing the first year of there new life together, Bella is now a vampire and is finally facing the days of being a "new born" vampire,Can Edward keep her strong or does his guilt force him to look the other way?


_**Edward**_

_**Diary entry 1**_

_**July 16**__**th**__** 2009**_

_I never thought that I had a soul after I became a vampire…I don't think I _

_ever thought of it much while I was human although my memories are not _

_strong. What I do know is that I've never felt as a live as I do right now…I _

_look at my wife and I cant not imagine a person so beautiful and so _

_wonderful not having a soul not being able to go anywhere beyond this _

_world. Maybe that's what Bella sees in me she often tells me that she sees _

_the light in me that I am so much more than the monster I think I am and Im _

_beginning to see how she can say that because there's no part of her that _

_resembles a monster. I struggle with reading her mind she is still so very _

_complex and does things that I probably will never rationalize In my own _

_mind…I smile at her courage and bravery but it often saddens me that she _

_was so willing to leave a life of brightness and hope…if I never came along _

_she may be somewhere thinking about a future free of restriction and _

_damnation. I repress these thoughts because I love her with all my _

_strength…With my still heart… I could not imagine my life without her…she _

_Is my happiness. Our beautiful daughter renesmee reminds me so much of _

_her she is the extension of death something I never imagined…something _

_my world had never deemed possible she will be able to go where we can _

_not and for that I am grateful that joy over powers any other thought. I am _

_sitting alone in our cottage and I hear Bella, renesmee and Jacob out front _

_laughing…I still feel the rage build in me every time I think of Jacob _

_imprinting on renesmee…but I owe him my life if you can call it that…he _

_stood by me and my family side when we needed him the most and for that I _

_can not deny him something that comes so natural to him…If for some _

_reason I am not around I know that my wife and child will always have _

_some who wants what's best for them.. there's no greater gift…I feel his love _

_for them through his thoughts and it is strong enough to with stand the test _

_of time…that is all we have…forever._

_Bella…_

I could feel the breeze blow my hair out behind me as I ran through the

forest watching the green of the trees and gray of the sky pass by me in a

blur, nights like these brought me an amazing rush that started from my

head and rippled along my cold marble skin…being a vampire made me feel

more alive. I stopped suddenly sniffing the air I coiled my body into a

crouch position and I waited…Edward sprang at me from behind a tree but

I was ready I climbed a tree with speed and leapt on to his back knocking

him to the ground I still was not use to my strength as a new born vampire.

He playfully rolled on top of me just months ago he probably would have

crushed me but now the pressure I felt gave me a pleasure beyond any I've

ever felt. I stared into is black mysterious eyes…he was hungry but we got

caught up in each other…he brushed his lips across mine and electricity

surged through my body…I don't think I'd ever get use to him being mine,

perfect In every way…his body pressed to mine and his hands tangled in my

hair and he pulled me to him crushing his mouth to mine…we had to get

back soon renesmee was asleep but I didn't like to leave her for too long

And Jacob was there…its twilight and I cant deny my longing…needing to

be with my husband…he kisses my cheek and leaves a burning trail down

my jaw line to my ear to my neck and across my throat,

I can feel his urgency his hands leave my hair and trace my

body he pulls my dress up

over my head in one quick movement and I close my eyes I can feel the

grass sway beside us and I lose myself…at what point he removes his

clothes I don't know but I feel him place him self inside of me and I open my

eyes and his beautiful face Is staring down at me…the dark passion hidden

beneath his eyes the way he carefully handles me as if I'm still breakable…I

love him, my only focus is us and the night…we lay in the grass

for a while just listening to the air swirl around us finally he speaks…

"I love you" Edward says in almost a whisper but I can hear.

I roll to my side and kiss his chiseled jaw.

"We better hurry, I'd like Jacob to get some sleep tonight" I said laying my

head against his chest. Edward sat up and I rose to my feet stretching and

feeling more awake. I slipped my dress over my head and the ache and thirst

started to build in my throat it was time to hunt. I took Edwards hand as we

took off back through the forest, we stopped and sniffed he air and I picked

up the scent of a bear…I let go of Edwards hand "Be careful" he whispered

to me, I smiled at him even now he thinks I'm still so fragile, I coiled my

body and remained low to the ground after a second I leapt from my hiding

spot I still have not developed the craft of remaining clean while I hunted

something I was told would come as I got older. After I feed I walked quickly

to a near by stream and cleaned my face Edward was not to far behind. We

ran home as quickly as possible and entered our lovely cottage that esmee

had built for us I still have not come up with the proper way to thank her.

Jacob was lying across the living floor watching renesmee sleep on her bed.

He heard me and Edward enter and noted my torn clothes.

" Still not good at this hunting thing huh?" he smiled his big warm smile.

Jacob is my best friend and I'm so happy things have worked out for us he

is apart of my family something I'm sure he never thought would happen.

Edward smirked at my clothes and gave me a meaningful kiss on the lips

Jacob frowned "Ewwww Its time for me to go but I'll be back early

tomorrow, hope I don't wake you" I could hear him chuckle as he ran for

the trees.

"He's still so irritating" Edward sighed

"But were lucky to have him" I said and wound my arms around his neck.

"That we are" he murmured placing small kisses on the tip of my nose.

We lay in bed that night and I could have sworn I was caught up in a dream

I've had everything I wanted and I couldn't imagine life getting any better

The bond I shared with my family including Charlie and renee who was still

To fragile to share my world but I spoke to her everyday and she trusted me,

I visited Charlie and he came to the bigger house to see us when he was not

Working…I couldn'tt think of anything that was strong enough to break the

Bond We all shared…It was truly magical.


End file.
